Portland 2009 -- In the Books

I have had a chance to think this race over some, and now more than ever, i know i had a sub 3 in me this past Sunday. Still, the only thing that can be said is that I failed to get it done. Plain and simple. The two mistakes I made were blaring, and my performance (or lack-thereof) during miles 19-21 was what has bothered me the most. I'm going to add some additional details regarding each so I can lay these issues to rest for good:

The restroom disaster -- I stopped at the one set of porta-potties that were padlocked (except two) and of course they were occupied. I sorta freaked out once I stopped, and rather than go behind a tree or something, I waited for someone to come out. WTF? I don't know why I waited. Froze up I guess. Now, the worst part is that I really didn't need to go the restroom that bad. I had this come up at Boston and ran for another mile or two and the issue passed. On this day, I stopped. Never will I do this again!

19-21 -- Rewind back to mile 18 (after we crested long hill at the bridge); once I hit this point I decided I was going to push it some. On the big downhill, i looked at my pace and was at like 640 (i think), so I cruised at the same effort until I heard the Garmin beep. I saw 653 or whatever it was and began to feel defeated because I was pushing it and ran a freaking 650. I do not remember the terrain on 19, but don't think it was hilly. I saw 7 min pace and began to freak out...thinking I might blow up. I did not want this obviously. Thus, when I came to mile 20 I made the decision not to push it, contrary to my plan. I just did not feel confident I could close for 6 miles. WhY? Who fucking knows! Anyway, I just sorta coasted during 20 and for most of 21. Looking back, my breathing was fine. My legs did not feel great, but they weren't bad. I just got in a bad place mentally. I have no idea how or why, but about mid-way through 21, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and give it one last go to see what I had left. Because, shit, I had practiced closing for 4 miles pretty much all summer.

Really, it wasn't entirely all bad. I ran a pretty disciplined race overall. Yes, I made some mistakes, but I will learn from them, and they will make me a better runner in the future. I am extremely happy with how I handled miles 22-the finish. And as noted previously, no one passed me in the latter half of the race.

The next time I toe the line for 26.2, I will break 3 to an extent that there is no doubt about it. Boston here I come!